A Tribute To My Father

I don't even know where to begin.
There are just too many thoughts flying in my mind, where the negative thoughts outweigh the positive ones.
The truth is, I have been depressed ever since Dec last year, when I have lost my father.
I hid it very well from my family and friends.
And I didn't blog much about it either.
I guess that's where the problem has started - I have kept it all to myself.


Until todate, I still haven't completed my eulogy for my father.
It's just too difficult for me to write that...
I have started it...but I just don't know how to finish it without tearing my eyes out.


The thing was, I have so many regrets ever since the passing of my father.
I kept blaming myself, I felt that I wasn't the best daughter to him, I felt that I wasn't the most obedient one, and I have taken him for granted.
I kept telling myself that I'll be closer to him, I kept thinking that I had more time with him, I have taken everything for granted.
Unfortunately, time was not on my side.
It was too late then.
I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye to him.


Thinking back, there were so many opportunities, so many times that I could have made it up to him, there were so many instances where I could have shown more love for him.
My father is a simple man, he had always been helpful, kind and generous even when he didn't have much money.
He has helped many people in need, and his love for dogs was truly inspiring - he has saved many stray dogs before, and because of him, my love for dogs has grown a lot throughout the years.
I am now more involved in charities for dogs since last year, as a tribute to him, and also because I have actually made a promise when I was younger, that was, to contribute to help the dogs in need. And this year, I have decided to share more about animal rights on facebook, etc, to create more awareness out there.
I'm sure that my father would be happy that I've done all that he would have done too.


My father may not be the richest man on this planet, but his generosity has taught me a lot on giving without expecting anything back.
He had always stood by me despite my wrong decisions, and he had always forgiven me for my faults and disobediences.
He has never loved me any less, he always had such unspoken pride for me, he was always behind my back no matter what.
I love you Papa always and forever, through life and death I'll always love you.
If I ever have the chance to have one more day with you, I'll cherish those moments for the rest of my life.




Lots of love,
Your youngest, Petrine.