Before I even knew it, it’s already been a month since the passing of my father. The time flew by in a blink and I was so busy I couldn’t even afford to be sad. When I look back at it now, everything seems like a dream, it is like as if I’m still dreaming.

Taking care of my father’s affairs, moving houses, arranging the related documents…

Since it was a new experience for me, since I was doing it for the first time as a new head of the household more than ever did it feel like going forward with tightly clenched teeth.

When I think of the funeral, I am sincerely thankful to everyone who didn’t let my father feel lonely on his last journey.

I have understood that there is still plenty of warmth in this harsh world.

Although I keep telling myself that I have to become stronger, the huge emptiness would strike me again and again.

It never rains but it pours, because right after it is followed by a futile feeling leaving my heart stunned.

Even today, as I suppress questioning the sudden passing of my father, I cast my dreams away.

Unkind everyday and social lives have separated us for 8 years. And all that there is left now is regret. How was I supposed to know that a time given to spend with you was only up till then. The world is cold, but it’s warm. Yet even though it’s warm, it’s cold.

Back then, there were many times when I couldn’t understand you. Now it seems that I do a little, but I see the time that has been given to us is up. They say you don’t understand what’s precious to you until you lose it. I still can trace you in many things.

Your sonorous voice that my ears cannot forget, calling me “elder son” out of somewhere. Your warm hands rubbing my shoulders as you would silently come into my room in my high school days when I would be tired of studying for the exams until the early hours.

The stadium where we would run together in my early childhood, when you taught me boxing and football. Our breath storming out of our chests.

Even a few days before the passing, after having been worried about my knee surgery, you went to the emergency room without having told your sons a word, because you were worried that we might get anxious in vain.

And now it really hurts that I can no longer see you, can no longer hear you, can no longer touch you. It hurts that I never get to express “Dad I love you” out loud, that I never had a chance to make any memory with you after I have become an adult.

Father, I love you

I am sorry

From now on, rest in peace.


———————————-
2012.02.26
Your son, Kim Junsu
———————————-




Beautifully written. Can totally relate to this.

Project Europe II

Project Europe 1 was here.



I know that some would call me crazy/over-spontaneous, some would call me adventurous/courageous, but whatever it is, I'm really excited this time!


In December 2011, I found out about Emirates' Global Sale (I subscribed to their promotional emails), and the discounts were to die for! A return ticket to Maldives was only RM1800, a return ticket to Brazil or New York was only RM4000 (usually return tickets to Americas region is about RM6k - 7k, I know this cos I researched about South America last time. At one point of time, I was interested in South America hehe. Give me a few years to save for South America! :p)
What caught my eye was the return ticket prices to Europe - It was RM2600! I was like OMGOMGOMG this has never happened to Emirates before. I like Emirates a lot so I have always been observing their prices, particularly to Europe.
Took a few days to think about it, typed some details, clicked a few buttons, and there you go, ticket booked :)

Project Europe 1

Everyone who knows me personally would know about my (burning) passion/desire for Europe ever since I was a teenager.
Attempted to plan for it in 2009 & 2010, but both attempts also failed.
Finally, by holding on to my dreams for 10 years, I finally went to Europe in June last year.
Project Europe 1 consisted of 3 countries - France, Spain & Italy.
I covered 6 cities in about 10 days - Paris, Barcelona, Milan, Venice, Florence & Rome.
Yes, majority of my time was spent in Italy :) Everyone who knows me personally would know about my (fiery burning X 100) passion/desire for Italy haha.
What has made it even more memorable was that I went there alone. Yes, crossed over more than 14,000km to another continent all by myself. Until now, my friends still look at me in awe haha.
It was the most beautiful experience in my life.

Project Europe II

This year, I'm organizing Project Europe II, which consists of 5 countries - Portugal, Switzerland, Croatia, Czech Republic, & Greece.
The cities are :
Lisbon & Porto (Portugal)
Geneva (Switzerland)
Dubrovnik (Croatia)
Prague (Czech Republic)
Athens & Santorini (Greece)



I did a few drafts on deciding which cities to go this time, it took me quite a while to decide/finalize the cities. The first & second drafts included Amsterdam & Madrid too, but in the end, I chose the cities listed above.



I'm really excited this time and hope & pray that everything goes well.
I just can't get enough of Europe, it's my favourite continent in the world :)

The Timeline

Subscribed for the Facebook timeline, finally. Accidentally clicked on year 2010, saw my tributes to my father, can't help but feeling the pain again. It was a difficult year, I wish things were different. Learnt the biggest lesson of all, never ever take your parents for granted, even tearing for a million years will not bring them back. It's almost a year and a half now.
I wish I had more time with my father.

To Seoul With Love

To Seoul With Love!




My video of our journey in Seoul in January 2012.
It's also currently playing on the small screen player on the right side of this blog haha.
The Korean song in the video is Jun K (from 2PM) featuring Lim Jeong Hee - Kajima (Don't Go).
I love this song, it was the first Korean song that I have loved so much, hence I used this song in the video as I felt that it has represented our trip so much.
A month has passed now but my heart is still in Seoul :)

A n y e o n g h a s a y o

Seoul, South Korea
10 - 16 Jan 2012

Sunset at Children's Grand Park :D

The day view of Seoul from the Namsan Hill, at Seoul Tower.

Nothing is better than having a steaming hot bowl of Korean Ramen during such freezing weather, it's like an orgasm!
There's this big Family Mart at this Children's Grand Park, who provides tables and chairs for you to sit down while you enjoy your steaming hot bowl of Korean ramen instant noodles (they provide hot water too). I think it's a really smart idea (good business strategy) of theirs cos we definitely need hot food during winter as we get hungry really fast.

The note that I have written for the owner/boss of the guesthouse that we stayed at.
We were really lost on the first night upon arrival in Seoul (after a late flight), it was already midnight in Shinchon after we took the airport bus from Incheon airport (The airport is in Incheon, the 2nd biggest city after Seoul. The bus journey took about 1 hour), I tried to ask for help at a convenience store but the guy couldn't understand English, but he was helpful enough to help me to call the guesthouse.
Eventually we found the road to the guesthouse, it was about 1.30 am, streets were deserted, and we had to walk into a dark alley.
Suddenly a guy in his late 20s walked out of nowhere, asking us where we were heading to.
We were seriously freaked out, we almost ran for our lives!
Then it turned out that the young guy was the owner of the guesthouse, he was just waiting for us! We laughed about this the whole night after that.
We didn't expect the owner to be so young haha.
It was 2am by the time we checked in, but he was nice to show us around the building - the pantry/kitchen, laundry area, etc.
He even spared his time giving us tips on where to go, the cheapest ways to go around Seoul, he drew & wrote everything on the map for us, it was really really nice of him, we were so grateful to him.
It didn't hurt that he was cute too ;)

We were lucky to witness a slight snowing in Namiseom island, it was really romantic there :)

Itaewon is my favourite place in Seoul.
It is dubbed as the "foreigners" land. I like it for its atmosphere there :)

Korean ramen at Namiseom island, with kimchis as the side dish yumms

Random shot of a couple that I took in Nami island

Love in Nami island <3

Really looks like autumn in Nami island hehe

Pink flowers at Changdeokgung's Secret Garden

Shopping at our area, in Shinchon


Palace guards at Gyeongbokgung Palace


Gyeongbokgung Palace



Playing with snow in Nami Island haha


Pagoda at Gyeongbokgung Palace


Took pic with Nichkhun hahaha


Dayang took this lovely pic in Nami island :)



Muruku in Gyeongbokgung Palace :p


I love this shot of Dayang cos I took it hahaha


Secret Garden tour, it was a longggg walk up and down the hills, no stamina lol


Changdeokgung Palace


Inside the Secret Garden :)





All in all, Seoul was really lovely despite the freezing weather and the cracks on my hands, I really loved it there.
People there were warm & they would try their best to help you despite the language barrier.
It's really safe there even at night, and it's a really organised country like Japan.
I would recommend Seoul to everyone, it's a really beautiful city :)
Kamsamida Seoul !

S E O U L

Children's Grand Park :)
I love this park, it's really huge, with lotsa happy children around, with lots of things to do - amusement park, rollercoasters, huge parks, zoo, botanical gardens etc etc.
And the best part - It's FREE!
So nice of their government to build such a huge free park for their citizens.

Purple cabbages at Children's Grand Park

Namsan Seoul Tower!

Some Korean hotpot with Octopus and lots of mushrooms and veges with kimchis and black beans as side dishes. I used to hate (didn't know how to appreciate) kimchis, but now I love kimchis!
In fact, I so love Korean cuisine now :)

Winter in Namiseom island :) More like autumn though haha
This is the island where Winter Sonata was filmed here.
This island is very nice and romantic, very ideal for couples to visit!

Hello Seoul I love you!

At Changdeokgung Palace's Secret Garden tour :)
I love the pink flowers everywhere :)

Breathtaking night view of Seoul from Namsan Seoul Tower :)
We didn't pay the entrance fees to the Tower, we actually took pics from the 'free' area haha, can save money lol.

Seoul. My heart. My soul :)